Fatherhood catchup and review volume II

From Back (in time...Click for photo album

I'm trying my best to get the story of Devin's delivery down for posterity before it's too much of a blur in my head. I'm assuming, based on the previous entry, that this won't be a truly chronological accounting throughout but, since I can't think of anything to rant about or anywhere else to start, today I start at the beginning.

When we visited the Maternity Center in Bethesda for week 39, Helen's blood pressure was unusually high--they checked twice because Helen was worried it might be a mistake. At the Maternity Center, the mother sees a different midwife on each prenatal visit. This way, hopefully, she will have seen every midwife one or more times before she went into labor at which time the midwife on call would help us through the labor. On this particular visit, we saw a midwife that Helen didn't really like. It was weird too because she was the senior most midwife who doesn't do deliveries anymore. This one had a problem with Helen's weight gain throughout her pregnancy--even though Helen started out overweight, passed two glucose tests during the pregnancy--ruling out the likelihood of gestational diabetes and everything else about Devin and Helen was perfectly normal and healthy up to this point with the high blood pressure.

After our visit I went back to the midwife's office to ask for clarification on something Helen was telling the front desk about. She told me that "just between you and me" Helen's weight was her biggest concern. She didn't bring that up to Helen during this visit. She had only told us about how we would proceed to test for pre-eclampsia and how things would go if Helen's blood pressure did not get and stay down in a normal range. This was when all the stress started. In the "just between you and me" conversation, she told me that Helen's body could only take so much weight and that the only cure was to have the baby--this last part being very true in the case of pre-eclampsia. I was pretty shocked that my wife's practitioner was telling me something that she did not want my wife to hear. Of course, I didn't keep it from Helen.

Fatherhood catchup and review

I am officially a father. Devin was born on April 14, 2007--just 3 days before my own birthday.

I'm sitting, writing this in the apartment-office of a colleague during my lunch break so that I can take the entire break uninterrupted. This is necessary for two reasons. First, with a newborn baby in the home, my wife and I cannot make our own schedules or do much that is not specifically for the baby--I can't use the toilet, eat a meal or brush my teeth when I want to! Second, at my job there is no real break room and if I try to take lunch at my desk, more times than not, I am interrupted by work that must be done right away. I don't mind it most of the time--I enjoy most of the work I do and the people I do it with and for--but, much like it is at home now, it is nearly impossible to get anything done per my own agenda while within 20 feet of my office. This said, I will probably compose this post in a few sittings and possibly even across a few different days in addition to posting multiple posts on the newest, most exciting topic in my life!

There is an interesting counterpoint here where the little time I have for myself while at home taking care of my two favorite humans on the planet plays against the time I am forced to take to take care of other peoples' software needs in order that I am able to provide, financially and materially, for myself and those two favorite humans on the planet.

So, here I am. Back at work after a full two weeks of paternity leave--the first two weeks of my son's life. It was very difficult, emotionally to leave my wife and child for the first time on Monday. A few fathers I know told me that it would actually be a welcome break for me to go back to work. I assumed that meant that most of these men were bad fathers and husbands--I didn't want to leave them and I don't think it's fair to expect my wife to go through all of this by herself while I am away. The more she and I spoke about having a baby, the more the topic came up of her limited choices after conception. She often pointed out that I, as a male, could escape this incubation, labor and delivery at any moment whereas, once she had decided to keep the child she could never escape any of it and could easily be left alone to deal with it. She and I both knew that this would never be the case--we do everything together and as full partners to the point of the absurd in some cases--but the possibility was still an emotional challenge for her and it helped her to talk about it. Back to the counterpoint topic--while I don't want to be at work right now, I am able to take a lunch break and I am able to do what I want with it. And what am I doing with it? Publishing a journal entry about the new slightly frustrating but infinitely rewarding home situation in order to share my experience with the tiny world of humans interested in knowing about it.

That's it for now. Pictures and more rants to come. . .